I get lost in him. And it’s the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found.#love#qoute#clairelazebnik#self#happy#rainyday
"And all I wanna do is live my life honestly I just wanna wake up and see your face next to me every regret I have I will set free and it will be good for me.."
Random stranger screaming in parking lot : you two make a beautiful couple!!
Me : thank you!!((smiling..looking at David))
David : he was talking about your boobs.
Why do we romanticize hurt so much? Why do we hold on to the past and memories we pushed away? Do we ever loose sight of when it all fell apart? Just seeing that one line you crossed to make a chain of events happen you never planned for your life. For years I tried to grasp it. Why I didn’t know the reason I became so cold the reason I chose to give up to feel the urge to dig into my own flesh and feel something other then deep nothingness. Why I felt the need to turn my wheel why I acted like I didn’t do it on purpose. BC I can still feel in my soul how much I wanted it all to stop. I can still feel how hot the water was running down my arms over my freshly cut skin. How only one other person ever saw what I did to myself. I can’t take it back. But I can say that I have the biggest reason in the world to hold on now for my life. Finding David to show me who I was meant to be how I knew I could love someone and love myself. It’s all coming back slowly, my memory from before all that medicine I took for so long. Overcoming those demons will be the next goal.
I feel so incomplete tonight. Mind racing body tired the darkness creeping. Sleep may just be the chamber my mind needs me locked in to throw all the shit at me at once. gotta listen some time I guess.
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